sigyn_halja

Dear Chocolatier...

Oh, wow! This is the first time I use this account as more than a panic-backup for my old LJ. It's also the first time I take part in the Chocolate Box exchange. Hope my letter will be easy to navigate. Right now, I'm merely using it as a recap for my requests... which are all pretty broad, I'll admit. Please, try to understand that "I have lots of rare fandoms and ships and you would just like any content about them." XD Anyway, I do hope you'll find some inspiration here! Let's face it, I'll love anything you gift me anyway. ^^

So, first things first, I'm fine with getting either fic or art for all of my requests. Here's a list of my general likes:

- Angst, fluff, smut, and humor/crack, separately or mixed together in any combination you can think of
- Disturbing/morbid fluff
- Hurt/Comfort
- Dysfunctional families and/or relationships
- Pining (mutual or unrequieted)
- Loyalty/devotion (be it healthy or destructive/self-destructive)
- Consensual, loving polyamory (which doesn't mean *everything* has to be all sunshine and flowers all the time, if you don't want to write that!)
- NSFW: D/s, femdom, pegging, threesomes, praise kinks, crossdressing/feminization, spanking, bondage, rimming, cunnilingus, non-penetrative sex (intercrural, frottage, etc.), aftercare

And here are my DNWs:

- Pregnancy/childbirth described in any graphic detail
- NSFW: scat/watersports/menstruation/vomit/lactation, maledom/femsub, underage sex under the age of 13, graphic violence in noncon scenes (noncon where the victim is immobilized/drugged/coerced, etc. is fine, and so is dubcon! It's just the combination of noncon and beating someone up that squicks me), sounding, medical kink, breathplay, nonconsensual body modifications

With that out of the way, here are my requests:

1. Fandom: Norse Religion & Lore

Ships: Angrboda/Loki/Sigyn, Loki/Sigyn, Loki/Thor, Loki/Odin, Hod/Loki, Balder & Hod, Frigg & Hod, Freya/Freyr, Fenrir/Tyr

Any content at all, sfw or nsfw, about the ships and/or gen relationships above that doesn't include my DNWs would be great! But here are some fandom-specific likes that you can take as optional prompts:

- Ragnarok and anything related to it
- Seidr, prophecies, Norse magic and everything related to it
- Retelling of specific myths or poems (examples: the theft of the Golden Apples, the binding of Fenrir, Lokasenna, Thrymskvida, etc.)
- Loki/Sigyn having a loving marriage rather than one forcing the other to marry them/abusing them/raping them
- Angrboda and Sigyn having a good relationship (whether platonic or romantic/sexual)
- Mixing elements from different sources (example: a story about the death of Balder mixing Snorri's Edda with Saxo's Gesta Danorum)
- Reincarnation/Gods In The Modern World scenarios

2. Fandom: Nibelungenlied

Ships: Brünhild/Kriemhild, Brünhild & Kriemhild, Hagen von Tronje/Volker von Alzey, Hagen von Tronje & Volker von Alzey, Gunther/Hagen von Tronje, Etzel/Kriemhild, Hagen von Tronje & Kriemhild

I'd love to see any content about Hagen and Volker or Brunhild and Kriemhild (whether shippy or gen) in particular. But it would also be great if you wanted to write or draw any Etzel/Kriemhild, Gunther/Hagen, or Hagen & Kriemhild (those last two could also be Gunther & Hagen and Hagen/Kriemhild, I'm not picky!).

Fandom-specific likes:
- ... I feel I should put the loyaly/devotion thing again here. XD It's a big, complex theme in the poem and I like it A Lot
- Fic or art sticking close to the poem's text (I'm okay with taking some inspiration from the Volsunga Saga or the Eddas or other Norse sources! I just like the Nibelungenlied a lot and would love to see it get more love!)
- Siegfried being absent/just there in the background/not the focus of the work
- Missing moments and character studies set in the second half of the poem (after Siegfried's death)
- Reincarnation/Modern AUs
- references to other Germanic poems involving characters who appear in the Nibelungenlied (examples: Waltharius Manu Fortis, Der Rosengarten zu Worms, etc.)

3. The Ring of the Nibelung

Ships: Gunther & Gutrune & Hagen, Grimhilde & Hagen, Gibich/Grimhilde, Alberich & Hagen

I'd LOVE to get something about Hagen and his family! His relationships with his parents, his step-father, his half-siblings... it would be great to see them explored, no matter the POV or the tone of the work. Which could be bleak and angsty or focus on some rare, fleeting momemt of happiness or even fluff.

I nominated everything except Gibich/Grimhilde as gen, but I'm not squicked by incest, consensual or nonconsensual, if you want to go down that route. Also, I forgot to nominate Alberich/Grimhilde as a ship, but you could work with that, too. As long as the focus stays on Hagen and how his family relates to him, I'm gonna be happy anyway.

Fandom-specific likes:
- Libretto-compliant Actually Very Close To Siegfried's Age!Hagen (... as opposed to Middle-Aged!/Old Man!Hagen, I mean)
- Hagen having been conceived because Alberich bribed Grimhilde with gold (rather than because he raped her/put a spell on her)

4. Attila's Treasure

Ships: Folkhari/Hagan, Hagan/Saganova, Hagan/Waldhari, Hildegund/Waldhari

I'd be overjoyed simply to have any content about this fandom at all, tbh. As you might have already figured out, tho, my favorite character in it is Hagan, and I'd love to get something focused on it. Especially something shippy.

The tags I nominated are more of a general indication here. You could put in any other character or relationship you like. I've read both Attila's Treasure and Rhinegold, and nominated the former as a fandom because it's my favorite of the two and the two novels put together don't have any specific name (like, idk, the Rhinegold Series or something like that) afaik.

Fandom-specific likes:
- Hagan's fostering in Attila's camp/his training as a shaman
- Hagan's complicated bond with and steadfast loyalty to his family
- Hagan being always the odd one out, never quite firmly in one world or another (and Folkhari and/or Saganova finding that attractive)
- Reincarnation/Modern AUs (all my love if you manage to sneak a Folkhari/Hagan/Saganova OT3 in there)

5. Ancient Greek Religion & Lore

Ships: Andromache/Hector, Odysseus/Penelope, Hades/Persephone, Ariadne/Dionysus, Eros/Psyche, Eurydice/Orpheus, Ares/Athena, Aphrodite/Ares/Hephaestus

Please, give me any femdom with any of these ships! That's all I want.

Fandom-specific likes:
- Consensual, loving Hades/Persephone (with or without the canonical kidnapping)
-Consensual, loving Ariadne/Dionysus
- Modern AUs (general or as retellings of specific myths - examples: mortician!Hades/florist!Persephone, the Trojan War as a feud between two modern political parties, etc.)
- Gods In The Modern World scenarios (bonus for said scenarios *not* being set in the US)

6. Swordspoint.

Ships: Alec Campion/Richard St Vier, Alec Campion/Sofia Campion, Alec Campion & Janine Campion

I'd really like to read something focusing on Alec, whether from his own POV or not. I've read all of Kushner's works where he appears including the short stories, and also The Fall of the Kings, so I'm all caught up on his story and on the effects it's had on the City through the years. Art would also be really, really cool, tho! I love his descriptions in Swordspoint in particular, but I would also be interested in seeing him younger (during his University years or before that) or older (especially circa The Death of the Duke).

Fandom-specific likes:
- Typical Alec Snark
- Typical Alec Angst
- Alec/Richard (that's the OTP, but I also really like the other relationships listed, and if you wanted, you could include any other characters you think he has fun interactions with! Alec & Diane and Alec & Katherine are also faves, if that helps.)

7. Kalevala

Ships: Aino/Kyllikki, Kullervo/Lemminkäinen

I'd love anything about either or both of these ships. I think they'd both be especially good for hurt/comfort, tho. Referencing all the tragedy and all the family angst in their individual stories would go very, very nice with that...

Fandom-specific likes:
- Aino and Kyllikki living their best lives and being happy
- Kullervo and Lemminkäinen getting plenty of character development
- Kullervo and Lemminkäinen having a rough start (angry sex is good with them, too)
- Aino and/or Kyllikki and/or Kullervo getting to be angry about the ways they've been treated canonically and their partner agreeing that Yeah, That Was Pretty Fucked Up
- Canon divergence AUs
- Modern AUs
- Reincarnation

8. Ace Attorney

Ships: Miles Edgeworth/Phoenix Wright, Dick Gumshoe/Miles Edgeworth, Mia Fey/Miles Edgeworth, Maya Fey/Miles Edgeworth, Dick Gumshoe/Miles Edgeworth/Phoenix Wright, Mia Fey/Miles Edgeworth/Phoenix Wright, Maya Fey/Miles Edgeworth/Phoenix Wright, Manfred von Karma/Miles Edgeworth

Miles Edgeworth bottoming and/or subbing in any of the ships listed above. That's it, that's the main optional prompt.

Fandom/ship-specific likes:
- For Narumitsu/Wrightworth: Soulmate AUs (played straight or for angst/dark), Miles having unrequieted (or seemingly unrequieted) feelings, works set during the first trilogy, anything with the golden chains from the anime opening
- For Manfred/Miles: emotional manipulation/abuse, Manfred as both Miles' mentor and his adoptive father, underaged sex, self-destructive loyalty/devotion, works set right before or right after Turnabout Goodbyes
- For Nokomitsu/Gumworth: loyalty/devotion, power dynamics, fluff
- For anything involving Mia or Maya: eferences to shared DL-6 trauma, femdom, canon divergence AUs

... and that's it. Thank you in advance for anything you'll come up with. <3

“She’s crying! Strong women don’t cry! Crying is for weak people! The man in this scene isn’t crying, so it means you think women are weaker and inferior to men! She should just man up and bear it! You’re making her into some helpless Damsel in Distress stereotype! Because she’s just cried right now, it means she can’t ever be strong and brave and badass again!”
“She’s not crying! Why isn’t she crying?! Women are more emotional than men, so of course she’d cry, it’s natural! I don’t care if she’s suffering on the inside, you’re saying women should just shut up and not express their feelings! You’re making her into some cold, heartless bitch to make her act like a man, because you think men are better than women!”

“She’s not fighting! You think women aren’t able to fight and should just wait for some big strong man to save them! Bet you’d love to put her in a skimpy bikini and tie her up to a railroad, huh?”
“She’s fighting! Women can be strong even if they don’t fight, you know?! Physical strength and violence aren’t the only important things ever just because they’re male-only things!”

“Oh my God! You actually had the hero save her! This is just like the 50s over again! I don’t care if she was tied-up and half-dead and delirious, she should have been able to knock out the superpowered bad guys and save herself anyway! She’s so weak and pathetic! I bet a man would have handled the exact same situation much better!”
“Oh my God! You actually had her save herself on her own! Can you even write anything besides the Strong Female Character stereotype? I don’t care if she’s super-strong and a great tactician with years of experience under her belt, she deserves to be cared for and looked after just like traditionally feminine characters! She needs help even when she doesn’t need it to show she’s an actual woman that male characters can find attractive!”

“She’s so meek and quiet! Stop censuring women and their opinions! You’re making her into some pliant, easy-to-manipulate woman-child for men to take advantage of!”
“She’s so loud and brash! How is that ladylike behaviour? You’re making her into some hysterical, capricious woman-child that the oh-so-wise men will just love silencing and putting down!”

“Why is she dolling herself up now?! Is she really that vain and shallow? Or is she so insecure that only men drooling all over her and objectifying her will make her feel better about herself?”
“Why does she never wear dresses and make-up? Every woman deserves to see herself as pretty and self-satisfied! You’re making her repress her feminine side! She must be so unhappy in those pants!”

“She has female friends? You think she’s not good enough to play with the boys? Great, just keep you dear little gender segregation going, you cunt!”
“She has male friends? Oh, I get it, she’s oh-so-special and Not Like All Other Girls! Great, just keep serving the patriarchy and trying to kill the sisterhood, you dickhead!”

“Oh, and now she has a love interest, that’s just great! Now she’ll obviously get all irrational and useless, and her whole character will surely revolve around him! What an airhead, getting distracted from her mission because of her love life and stuff, she should just be able to turn her feelings off like a switch … women don’t need men as the focus of their whole lives!”
“Why doesn’t she have a love interest already?! Love and sex are important, you’re cutting a huge chunk of her identity off! I don’t care if she doesn’t have time for a relationship or she doesn’t want one! Just stop this Strong Independent Women Don’t Need No Man crap!”

“Wait, are you telling me she’s having sex?! Seriously? That whore! Your view of women as sex-object for man’s pleasure is disgusting!”
“Wait, are you telling me she’s not having sex?! Seriously? Your fear of women owning and enjoying their sexuality and your slut-shaming are disgusting!”

“She’s just men’s fantasy of a perfect woman! Women like her don’t exist!”
“She’s just a man with boobs! Women like her don’t exist!”

I want masculine women in fiction. I want women who don’t have to be pretty or love their children or love their man or go crazy over shoes as “redeeming traits” to prove they’re still actually all-women, women who aren’t called unfeeling bitches and men if they don’t swoon and beg for a hug right after killing the bad guy in cold blood, women who don’t just need some infuriating alpha male dude to insult them and mock them and then hold them down and pound them into the mattress to make them “rediscover their repressed femininity” and turn them into delicate sensitive little flowers.

I want feminine women in fiction. I want women who don’t have to be “upgraded” into badass warriors to be considered relevant and interesting, women who aren’t shamed for being quiet or sweet or sneaky or loving dresses and the colour pink and flirting with cute guys, women who are badass because they’re clever and cunning and knowledgeable and emotionally strong and loyal and dedicated to their loved ones’ wellbeing and capable and wise.

I want women who look for sex and women who don’t, women who look for a romantic partner and women who don’t, ace and aro women, women whose love interests and sex partners aren’t men, women whose love interest and sex partners aren’t just men.

I want women who have both masculine and feminine traits. I want women who don’t see themselves as masculine or feminine, just women. I want women who think character traits and actions shouldn’t be classified as inherently masculine and feminine, because that’s a gender essentialist and simplistic view of reality.

I want women who are different yet still support each other, women who don’t fight all the time about who is a legitimate woman or a strong woman or a valid woman or “more” of a woman. I want women who honestly don’t understand what’s the paradigm that should be used to tell if someone is “less” or “more” of a woman.

I want women who understand that the only requirement to be a woman is identifying as a woman, and that you have no right to tell someone what they can and can’t identify as.

… I kinda feel the only possible way to get something like that would be having an entire cast made of women. You know, so not every single woman would be expected to represent all women on Earth, never make any mistakes and never have any noticeable flaws - and, consequently, not every single woman would be called a dumb bitch, evil slut and useless whore by Fandom for just about every little thing.

… Okay, so maybe not even that would work. We are talking about Fandom, after all.

*sigh*

March is not over yet … so I decided it was a good occasion to share some poly/threesome/moresome prompts I posted on the Eleven Era Kinkmeme and the Walking Dead Kinkmeme.
Who knows? Maybe one day someone will actually feel like filling them …

Warning: some of the prompts are NSFW.

( Doctor Who )

( The Walking Dead )

Posting some videos about one of my favourite OT3s ever: Eleven/Amy/Rory from Doctor Who!
None of these videos were made by me, of course, because I wouldn’t even know where to start. I’ve found all this lovely stuff on YouTube.
Not all of them are *strictly* OT3 vids, but all of them gave me lots of OT3 fills. Hope it works for you too! <3

( A Queen and her boys under the cut )

If you have some other videos to reccomend, please put them in a comment! <3

Perché ho letteralmente appena scoperto l'esistenza di questa iniziativa e YES PLZ.

... Oh, e anche perché volevo già fare un meme per il Femslash February ma sono una cretina che si scorda le cose e quando se le ricorda è già troppo tardi. *cough*Ma l'anno prossimo...*cough* Quindi, meglio non lasciarsi sfuggire anche questo mese, no?

Orsù, scegliete una (o più. Più è sempre meglio) threesome o moresome e ricordativi che sharing (prompts) is caring. <3

( Tanto amore sotto il cut )

.... Ah, e ovviamente avrò dimenticato qualcosa. Ergo, se avete qualcosa in mente, chiedete pure!

*Finds interesting-looking, slashy-sounding book that seems to be (from what the preview shows you at least) the Nibelungenlied from Hagen’s POV with additional friendship moments with Volker*
*Author randomly puts in “pagan songs” about that one time Moon Goddess Freya was married to Thor and their tru wuv was totally epic and tragic and mentions “gatherings of insane pagan druids”*

*Finds interesting-looking, “both scholarly and entertaining” novel “on the Sigurd cycle” by an author who has studied English and German philology, complete with Hagen-centric prequel*
*Finds out author is involved with “only counts as racist if you’re running around shooting black guys and scheduling lynchings with an angry mob” heathen organization*

*Tries to find movies about the Nibelungenlied*
“So … I’m kinda confused, you said this was about the Nibelungenlied, right?”
“YES OF COURSE TOTALLY 100% LEGIT SCANDINAVIAN MYTH” *actually all Wagner*

“Well, there’s not much difference between the Scandinavian version and …”
“STFU”

“Kriemhild is an idiot and boring and your classic Disney Princess who never does anything at all, why is she even in it”
“… Maybe because she’s the main driving force behind all the scheming and bloodshed and chaos in the second part?”
“I didn’t read the second part”

“Kriemhild is a useless Disney Princess before Siegfried’s death”
“… In The Rosegarden in Worms, she just wants to see knights brutally murder each other to get a single kiss from her”

“Kriemhild is a Disney Princess”
“Seriously, HOW is that an insult?” *goes back to watching Brave or Mulan or whatever she feels like at the moment*

“And the brave noble hero killing the big scary dragon, and the badass warrior queen, and the horrible terrible dramatic betrayal, and …”
“Yeah, that’s pretty cool! I’ve always preferred the second part, though.”
“… What second part?”

“The second part’s boring.”
*Flips random tables*

“Who’s Volker?”
*AGGRESIVELY FLIPS RANDOM TABLES*

*Volker/Gernot/Dankwart gets named precisely once (and never again)*
“OMG YES I’VE WAITED SO LONG FOR THIS” *cries*

*Hagen and Volker appear onscreen together for exactly one scene. Volker never talks and is never referred to by name. All their original interactions are cut*
“MY OTP THEY’RE SO PRECIOUS” *cries then swoons*

*All Nibelungen!fic is in German*
*Actually ponders learning German*

… Now TRY and say your Fandom is small and unknown and it gets you all frustrated and stuff.

Also, if I ever write my own Nibelungenlied novel, Brunhild and Kriemhild will be both awesome utterly badass ladies, Gernot and Dankwart will have more than one single speaking line, Rumold and the other basically-just-names knights will get a larger part in the story, and Hagen and Volker will have a bromance to make Rickyl and Johnlock pale in comparison (also they’ll basically ship themselves).

… Okay, no, fuck this, Hagen and Volker will just be Canon. I’ll be an evil queer-pandering fangirl-author making important character queer for my unholy queer agenda, and reviewers on Amazon will be SO uncomfortable.

Also, Brunhild will be the Butch Queen (… the Butch Lady-Jarl? I don’t know, the whole “queen of Iceland” thing always confused me) and have lots of UST with Kriemhild. And Gunther will love the bondage thing, he’ll just be too ashamed to admit it. And I’ll try to find a way to avert the whole icky marital rape thing, hopefully …

So, yeah, basically I’ll have no shame at all. Something tells me I won’t really care, though.

P0rn written by normal people:

- witty banter

- kisses

- optional more witty banter

- various touches

- penetrarion

- penetration with optional touches & kisses

- penetration

- first pg's orgasm

- penetration

- second pg's orgasm

P0rn written by me:

- introduction

- random thoughts (possibly angsty)

- witty (?) banter

- more random thoughts (possibly flashbacks)

- more banter

- various light touches

- MORE random thoughs

- light kisses

- more light touches

- banter (yet again)

- deeper kisses

- heavier touches

- random thoughts

- nipple play

- more kisses

- more nipple play

- kisses & touches

- masturbation

- BANTER

- oral sex

- ... oh wait, I should write penetration now, right?

- "he thrusts in and out. Then he thrusts in and out again. She's warm and wet. It feels good." ... yeah, ok, that says it all, right?

- one of them orgasms (possibly the other one, too, but don't count on it)

- post-coitus banter

- random thoughts

- optional semi-related coda

.... Sometimes I picture my characters just staring at me and going "girl, stop giving me blue balls kthxbai".

Then I think about it hard.

Then I shrug, laugh and go "SHUT UP IT'S MY P0RN I DON'T EVEN WANT IT TO BE REALISTIC".

Post inutile di cui non fregherà nulla a nessuno. \O/

( I deliri della tizia degli Sfiga!Fandom )

...Ho bisogno di prompt mitologici, okay?
Okay.

Se poi vi venisse l'ispirazione per promptare qualcuna di queste ship al P0rn!fest di fanfic_italia ~~IL REGNO E IL CAVALLO CHE NON HO PER UN PROMPT QUALSIASI SUL NIBELUNGENLIED!!!!11UNO~~ poi sarebbe semplicemente perfetto. Just sayin'.

( Myth!Shipping selvaggio sotto il cut )

...E di sicuro avrò dimenticato una decina di altri pairing. Ergo promptatemi qualsiasi cosa vi passi nella testa, basically.

E se poi vi sentite in vena di crossover, beh, chi sono io per fermare la vostra creatività? *grin*

...No. I'm not even ashamed.

( Seme!Inghilterra )

( Seme!Finlandia )

( Seme!Cina )

As usual, i suggerimenti sono sempre graditi! ^^

( Seme!Nord Italia )

( Seme!Sud Italia )

( Seme!Canada )

( Seme!Austria )

Because of course while writing a Nibelungenlied parody I have to have Nibelungenlied feels. Which mainly means Kriemhild feels and Hagen feels. Which means mostly Hagen feels, okay, I admit it. ~~You~~ ~~try resisting the dark, grim but utterly loyal and dedicated badass with all the angsty backstories, I dare you.~~

… By feels I obviously mean “let’s see if I can search for hours to find LOADS of obscure stuff and contradicting information ~~and generally get even more obsessed~~”.

So, yeah. I finally read the Waltharius - in English, because I just can’t ever find stuff in Italian, Italian literary has no stuff - and you probably should too.

If you like stories about true love, dangerous adventures, brave knights, great treasures, parents selling their own children to save their asses, asshole kings acting like assholes, and lots of maiming, that’s it. But, then again, who doesn’t?

Have a helpful link: http://ilcrepuscolo.altervista.org/php5/index.php/Waltharius_Manu_Fortis

Anyway. This is what I got from reading the Waltharius.
Warning for silly fangirl interpretation of overdramatic epic poems, of course.

( Fangirling over normal stuff is overrated anyway )

… Basically, expect fics. Slash fics. OT3 fics. Angst fics. Missing Moments fics.
All the fics.
Well, as soon as I get over my writer’s block and everything I write stops being crap, anyway.

What they say: " Strong women written by men are just men with boobs! Women are observant and introspective, they don't just smash everything!"

What they mean: "Women are passive and prefer thinking to acting. Women aren't violent or able to do violent actions, women are gentle and kind. The only type of fighting women are able to do is sneaky, catty, passive-aggressive verbal fighting. Women are subtle and artistic and spiritual and possibly unearthly, never pragmatic or straightforward. ~~And everybody knows women are bad at Maths and at changing tyres. But the're really really good at identifying different shades of the same colour, honestly.~~"

What they say: "Men written by women are too introspective and focused on details. Men see the bigger picture, they act quickly and don't get lost in their thoughts like that. Men don't dwell on their feelings, they're straightforward and direct and they get over things."

What they mean: "Whoever doesn't fit my ideal of strong, bold, stoic, bordering-on-unfeeling masculinity is a sissy crybaby who should just man up and stop thinking like one of these stupid oversensitive little girls. ~~Also, men are completely unaware of their surroundings and the context they're moving in unless my male character needs to see a threat coming from a mile away to look cool.~~"

What they come across as saying: "Men and women are inherently different. It's not that society teaches us to expect different things from men and women and see certain things as masculine or feminine characteristics, it's just that we're destined to be that way right at birth because of our genitalia. Only my way of seeing masculinity or femininity is right."

You know what I'd like to see? People who say this kind of things being forced to write genderqueer and non-binary characters.
It'd be SO good watching them go crazy like "OMG NO! WHERE'S MY HANDY GUIDE TO GENDER ROLES AND STEREOTYPES??? HOW DO I DO HUMAN BEINGS WHEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY OBVS MUST ACT LIKE!!!!!1111"

Sometimes I feel like, no matter what I do and how hard I try, my writing is always going to suck.

Sometimes I just read those stories - you know the ones. The stories you can see and touch and smell, the ones that feel more real than the reality you're living or at least more genuine and interesting. The ones with all those characters who act and talk like actual people only they're likeable and anyway you just keep liking them even if they're complete douchebags, and the world around them is so believable that it doesn't seem to need them anymore to keep existing, and each and every tiny little detail is so perfectly placed and fits naturally in the bigger picture. The ones that run so smoothly, punch you repeatedly in the gut, fill your belly with warmth and make something inside your chest tingle pleasantly, just under the skin.

Then I realise that I don't know what the very moment before a storm smells like - the whole "faint tinge of ozone in the air", you know it. Everbody seems to know it.
And I wouldn't even compare blood to copper. I don't even know what copper tastes like. I've never had the urge to put copper in my mouth.
(... Though I had a kind of a phase as kid when I kept scratching my back and ankles until I drew blood. I solemnly swear I didn't have fleas. I just had weird interests from an early age. And the only vaguely creepy things were the thin scars between my shoulderblades. So, anyway, sometimes I kind of smeared the blood over the skin, then licked my fingers. Didn't smell like copper. Didn't taste like what copper would probably taste like. Feeling like a complete weirdo while writing this.)
And I don't think I've ever managed to smell someone's skin. Shampoo, perfume, cologne, sweat, filth ... I can get these. But the only type of skin smell I recognize is "old people smell". The rest is just a generic "clean human being" smell, if even that, nothing distinctive. The hottest guy on Earth could hug me repeatedly and I'd probably barely manage to smell his hair gel.

And the colour tables on Tumbrl, the ones that are supposed to help writers with description, they just confuse me to no end. Why is "lemonade" a type of pink, if lemonade is made with lemons and lemons definitely aren't pink? Why are "snow" and "frost" blue? Does anyone actually use "boysenberry" or "parakeet" in descriptions? Can people really distinguish all these types of black? They make me feel like I've got even more problems with my eyes, or like I'm just stupid.
Am I the only one who doesn't see people with "richly ivory coloured skin, enhanced by soft warm rouge undertones and just a hint of coral in the cheeks" everyday walking down the street?
I'm one of those cheap writers who just sticks to "hair like gold" and "eyes as blue as a clear sky" because they're easy ...

And I know I sound whiny. I know I sound like I'am badmouthing people who write a lot better than me.
It's just that sometimes I feel like there's a whole world I'm missing on. Because I'm not observant and deep enough, and that probably means I'm not interesting enough, and that probably means I've got nothing to say and what little I could think up has surely already been said to the point that everyone is sick of hearing about it.

I know it's the pathetic, embarassing stuff teenage angst is made of. I know it's probably just me making up excuses for my mediocre-at-best writing, for my vague descriptions and featureless similes, for not manning up and actually starting to plan and write those plots I keep dreaming about or wishing someone else would write for me, for being lazy and envying writers who aren't and also actually are talented.
I know it sounds like I'm begging for pats on the back and that kind of stuff. It's just that sometimes I get frustrated at myself. And when I get frustrated, I'm pretty damn shitty to be around.

... Yes, I also know nothing in this post makes sense.

Perché era da tanto tempo che lo volevo fare.

( Coltelli e padelle sotto il cut )

In no particular order. Just getting stuff off my chest and venting a bit.
Will probably have other parts (I’m easily frustrated).

Hot dude is condescending, irritating, smug, pompous and generally a complete ass. Shy and easily flustered chick who usually tries to act tough doesn’t reveal her soft side together with her embarrassment. Instead, she flips hot dude the bird and goes hang out with people who don’t go out of their way to make her uncomfortable.

Hot dude controls heroine’s every move, chooses not to give her important information, basically locks her up and says he’s doing all of this for her own good. Heroine stops swooning over his biceps and calls the police.

Hero leaves love interest so as not to put her in danger, even if said love interest knows the risks perfectly and is willing to put up with them. Love interest hooks up with another guy who believes in her and knows her strength.

Ordinary girl meets gorgeous girl. Ordinary girl doesn’t feel threatened, self-conscious, angry or like making one-hundred bitchy remarks about how gorgeous girl is obviously just a man-eating airhead in the same paragraph.

Clumsy girl sometimes drops stuff, sometimes hits and knocks over random things, and generally moves in an awkward way. She still doesn’t trip and fall every three steps. When she does trip and fall, she doesn’t land in the arms of a timely cute guy, but hits the floor and hurts herself.

Girl has to choose between aloof but cool bad boy and sweet but insistent nice guy. She stops angsting, realises she could be doing something better with her time and ditches them both before finding herself a new and more interesting hobby.

Girl has to choose between aloof but cool bad boy and sweet but insistent nice guy. Bad boy and nice guy get tired of waiting for her to choose and hook up with each other instead.

Girl has to choose between aloof but cool bad boy and sweet but insistent nice guy. Thinking about it, they realise that actually they all have feelings for each other and start a polyamorous relationship together.

Character is being fought over by two other characters (jock and nerd if character is female, Alpha Bitch and cute nice girl if male) who each believe that they’re better than each other and that they deserve their love interest more. Character tells them to fuck off because they’re more than just a love interest and they certainly are not a prize to be fought over or “deserved”.

One character is abused, neglected and/or abandoned by a family member. Years later, another character who doesn’t even know said family member tries very insistently to push first character into getting over it already, stop acting like a victim and being all smiling and forgiving because they say so, totally ignoring first character’s feelings, fears and trauma. All because “family is important”, so if your abusers are part of your family then you should just quit your whining and do all you can to make them feel better about themselves, even if it means sweeping years of hurt under the rug in five seconds flat. Instead of letting themselves be pressured into giving other character the unreasonably quick and easy happy ending they want, first character punches other character in the face for daring to tell them how they’re supposed to feel. They then proceed to introduce other character to their very warm and loving family of choice.

Adopted kid calls their biological parents “biological parents”, not “true parents” or “real parents”. Even if their biological family are the royal family of the Super Duper Secret Realm of the Shiny Half-Dragon Elves. Because their adopted family are the ones who have always been there for them, and it just doesn’t matter if they’re mortals or commoners or poor.

Current Mood: cranky

So, I may have already put some backhanded reference to him in a post. And I may have been pondering for a while if it was the case to spam him all over the place - it was, it still is.

But someone says it much better than I think I could. I don't know what the hell happened and I don't think I even want to know, because I know I'd just get angry at the whole world for an unreasonable amount of time (yeah, that's something I do), but I agree with this post on so. Many. Levels.

Seriously, I'm not heathen or pagan and I don't even have tumbrl, I'm just a cluesless Norse Mythology fangirl who reads the gods as characters to squee over or - in her best days - as archetypes and costructions born out of a certain kind of society. But GLE's askblog is one of my favourite things on the Internet.

You want interesting aricles? He has them. You want books and essays? He'll point you in the right direction and give links where he can. You're tired of people telling you their UPGs are totally the complete and universally accepted truth, misquoting stuff and trying to make you feel like an idiot because you don't know stuff that doesn't even happen in the lore, copying random stuff from Raven Kaldera, pretending to destroy misconceptions once and for all while actually serving you only not-too-plausible theories, and NEVER FUCKING SPELLING OUT JUST WHICH FUCKING SOURCE THEY'RE USING TO SUPPORT THEIR CLAIMS? GLE saved me from a life of repeatedly headdesking every single time I look up something Norse-related on the Internet.

Also, he is a really great guy. He's helpful, honest, intelligent, always ready to call out racism, sexism and every other shitty -ism. Sometimes he posts things that make me want to hug him so much. With him, you can always be sure to learn something new about Norse Myths or heathenry in general without having to face lots of triggering stuff.

So, yeah. Just check him out and have your mind blown by his sheer awesomeness, 'kay?

http://grumpylokeanelder.tumblr.com/

http://glegrumbles.tumblr.com/

( Viserys&Daenerys )

( Viserys/Daenerys )

( Viserys/Rhaenys )

( Viserys/Doreah )

( Viserys/Drogo )

Women get harassed, beaten, raped, killed, told not to go out alone or wear short skirts because then everything that may happen will be their own fault, treated like someone else's property, shamed because of their bodies and what they decide to do with them, silenced and mocked when they try to talk about their problems. They get less money than their male colleagues, they get less chances to make the difference in their countries' politics and economies, and they get told this is normal and fair and that trying to change things is giving women unfair advantages and oppressing men.
And even if these things don't happen to them, they always know they could happen because they're women. They deal with it - they can get pessimistic and cynical and sarcastic and argumentative but, one way or another, they deal with it.

Men get called "pig" by random anonymous people on the Internet. They then proceed to cry and wail and bawl like bratty five-year-olds because OMG MISANDRY YOU HATE ALL MEN YOU ARE UGLY AND GUYS DON'T WANNA FUCK YOU IMMA MAKE ALL UR PROBLEMS ABOUT ME ME ME ONLY ME REMOVE FEMAL SUPREMACY REMOVE UGLY BODY-HAIR.

Oh, I know not all men are like that. It's what men keep repeating over and over again, after all. But the men who are like that need a diaper and a good stern talk. And if calling them out means being a crazy SJW - well, then I'm proud of being a SJW.
(I was always crazy to begin with.)

... Or, the useless and irrationally angry musings of a too-fangirlish fangirl. Though, seriously, what did you expect from one with that sort of username?

Anyway, these are things that piss me off as Norse Mythology-obsessed creep with a soft spot for Sigyn and Loki/Sigyn.

( So here it comes the sound of rant )

… Yeah, I’m done now. A little less angry, a little more embarrassed by my own nerdiness and fangirling.
Time to write more Loki/Sigyn p0rn, I guess.

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